Have FAITH

As I was working on my Personal Progress goals (as a leader) I realized that opposite of fear and anxiety is faith!

Ether 12:27 "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto them their weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then I will make weak things become strong unto them."

Ether 12:37 ". . .And because thou hast seen thy weakness thou shalt be made strong, even unto the sitting down in the place which I have prepared in the mansions of my Father."

I have the potential to have faith become my strength. That makes me feel awesome. Someday these anxious feelings will be a thing of the past. I am so grateful to Heavenly Father and his plan for me.

Thanks for letting me share that.

By the way, people who say faith is for the weak have never tried to have it. It will be hard won for me.

T

Merry Christmas!

I haven't been on the computer for awhile but I at least ought to get up here once a month. Christmas is gonna be great at our house, we're all set. I used to love CHristmas but with my constant companion of anxiety it kind of takes the thrill out of it. I just hope I am being cheerful enough for my kids.

We went to see the Christmas lights at Temple Square which was fun, cold, but fun. I love standing outside on a December night after it snows and just be. It feels so peaceful and quiet. I wish I could bottle that feeling and give it to my children for Christmas.

A women at work taught me two very helpful words which I am using frequently. They are, "Oh Well." When ever I start feeling stressed I just say these two magic words to help me remember that I cannot and should not feel responsible for the safety, happiness, etc. of everyone! I have to give it to God and move on in my season of life which is to raise my children. I have beeing trying to play more with them and that is fun. I cannot believe how hard it is to sit down and play. My kids love it when I can manage it.

Anyway, that's all that's going on. See why I don't post more often? LOL Love you all.
T

Santa needs a helper

Okay, so my 4 year old is really getting into barbies. She has several dolls but I cannot find clothes anywhere to dress them. In my girlhood days you could buy jut the outfits but I'm not finding any.

So I am asking for help. If any of you know where I can get some Barbie clothes I would really appreciate it. Santa is out of ideas. I thought that if any of you have girls that have outgrown the Barbie phase that I can buy them from them. Anyway, I don't know where else to look. Apparently Barbie has spent all her money on her cell phone and pink car and didn't save any for her wardrobe.

Some more pictures

Grandpa thought it would be fun to take a ride in this "school bus." We had a fun time. I think the kids will remember it for awhile. They sure talked about it. Thanks Grandpa!

Pictures

Here are some pictures of Halloween. The one of me and the kids is at teh Young Lavender Farm in Mona. THey had a fun halloween party a few Saturdays before. We also went to THanksgiving Point to the Scarecrow Festival - it was "eh". But the Mona trip was a blast. My neighbor works for them. We did alot this fall to celebrate the season. Hopefully we will keep it up for the Christmas Season as well. Only we don't want to focus so much on Santa as we do Christ.

HALLOWEEN

Just a quick up date.
Halloween is so fun with little kids. We had a ninja, a princess, and a puppy this year. The princess kept calling the ninja a "inga." Puppy was only happy when we gave her a dum dum sucker. She is 9 months old!

We had school and the parade then we ran to the store (big mistake-it was so crowded). Then after a dinner of chili we went trick or treating with friends, gave out candy and to top off the evening we went to our ward trunk or treat. That was really fun. The kids had a blast seeing all the decorated trunks. We didn't decorate ours but stood by it and gave out our treats. I think this was the funnest Halloween with the age of our kids.

Thriving Ivory Concert

The Hubby and I went to a concert last nightwith another couple ... 101.9 The End radio station sponsered the event in Murray. They are a group from Santa Barbara, CA and I was very familiar with their music. We have their CD and I liked it but I was really impressed with the concert. It was the funest concert I had ever been to, not that I've been to many . . .

They are really great performers - they give it all their energy and they worked really well as a band. They were filming the entire concert and that was fun to watch too. I think that's why they were so good. Lynn even caught the Clayton's water bottle - woot woot! We've got famous slobber! Lynn shouted, "I've got his water bottle." It was so funny I couldn't stop laughing. We should have stayed to have it signed but we are old now and had been standing for 4 1/2 hours. So we just went to get the kids and go home.

You can check out their concert in about a week on 101.9 The End on the Parker show in the afternoon. They recorded the entire concert. You can also check them out at http://www.thrivingivory.com --We had a blast!

It's about time

It's all about time, isn't it? I bragged that I posted within a week and then I didn't post again until now! Oh well, you do what you can. I love the colder weather but I could do with out the bleak winter storms. I was so depressed Sunday night because it was so dark and cold. I like sunny cold weather. Oh well, it will start getting lighter soon . . .

It is so fun to teach my son computers in school. Last year I worked at another school father away and I love being closer to home now. I got school pictures taken of all my kids, even the two not in school yet. They turned out so cute.

Well, that's all for now, but at least it's a post.

Here I am Again

Look at me! It hasn't even been a week yet!

I went "to town" this Saturday and spent the day with my parents while Lynn worked some overtime. This strikes me as funny because I haven't left Eagle Mountain in a week, yet I've gone to work every day! I LOVE MY COMMUTE! It is so awesome.

WHen I was little going "to town" meant going to downtown SLC to pay bills with my mom. I loved those days. They were special because I got to go while my brothers and sisters were in school. Then I started school and I got to go in the summer. I'm sure paying bills wasn't the funnest thing for my mom to do but as we went she reminenced how she used to go to town with her mom. Now I go to town with my kids. In my case, go to town means leaving Eagle Mountain. I'm glad I live here. It is a great place to be. Enough rambling!

If you've known me for over 5 years, you might recall that my neice, JaCee was killed in an automobile accident on State Road 73 after leaving my house. I miss her and often think of her but I think her mom said it best in her Baked Cookies Blog (link to the right). Also her favorite Aunt Shannon gave her a great tribute in Shumans in the News, (also to the right). I wish I could say I was her favorite Aunt but I cannot. I wonder if she have lived closer if I would have been. All I can say is that I love her very much and I know she lives with our Father in Heaven. If you go the blogs, get out the tissues, she has a way of touching everyone, even now.

Love My Job

Just a quick update. I hardly ever get on my home computer anymore! I'm on computers all day at school so I guess I'm reluctant to get on at home. Besides that my downstairs is messy and everytime I'm down here I feel like I should clean rather than Blog. Obviously I'm working on getting over it! :)

Anyway, we just got fabulous imacs at school. My only problem is learning to mangage 40 of them at one time! I love the kids and it is so fun being at my sons school. I have been really blessed!

Allison is getting bigger - 7 months old now. Eating "big" food as big as mashed sweet potatoes can be. She is the easiest baby - She is just always smiling! I'll post pictures soon (hopefully)

Beautiful Bride and Groom

My Brother and his wife and my family.

A wedding!

My youngest brother got married today. The last one of the bunch to "take the plunge." He looked so handsome today and I was so proud. I was able to feel his happiness. I really don't think I've ever seen him that happy - even when he was a kid in a candy store. It was at Thanksgiving Point and although it was a bit rainy, it was clear for the ceremony.

I am so proud of you Tim and Mary. Hope you have a long and happy marriage.
Love your big sister.

Getting Bigger

My baby girl is getting so big. She's eating rice now. Big sister watches at first then trys her hand at helping. Sometimes I feel bad for the baby with all the "help" she gets. But big sister's heart is in the right place.

Grrr...

I'm trying to update my blog. I've had some technical difficulty and a little girl that wants to sit on my lap. I don't mind the little girl so much but I can't access the keys well enough the fix the computer so I guess it will just have to wait.

At any rate, I've been taking some medication and I've gained so much weight (I weigh 200 lbs). I can't really blame it all on the medication but my goodness. I was 200 lbs nine months pregnant 6 months ago. Therefore, now that everyone knows how much I weight I have the pressure to try and take it off. Hopefully you all will be my inspiration. So, see you later, I'm heading to the gym.

Going through Pictures

Mom and I were going through old photos to find some for my brother who is getting married. Anyway, I found my 9th grade photo, which, honestly, is my best school photo. But I had to laugh at the size of my glasses! They are huge. Who were the fashion designers then. Someday my kids will probably look at pictures of me and laugh because I was wearing glasses! They won't even exist anymore! OR the style will be huge again and my kids will say, "Geez mom, why are you wearing such small glasses? They look totally dumb!"

Happy Independence Day!!!

This is my favorite holiday. We celebrate with family at a barbecue, nothing too big. It is summer, we can play in the water or park or sit around drinking cold sodas, you know, doing summer things with family. It helps that I really like my family. My parents are great, my brothers and sisters and I finally get along (My mom is VERY grateful. And it gives me hope with my own kids.) I have good in-laws that I look forward to talking with and it is just a time to hang out.

This year was particularly fun because I saw almost everyone. Just one brother didn't come. We talked wedding plans because my other brother is getting married in August. Something to look forward to. . . I am anxious because it is planned on my first day of work. Grr... I'll have to make some arrangements with a brand new employer - not a great first impression.

Aside from the family fun, I have always been patriotic. I love to see the American flag waving high against a blue sky. I think of George Washington, Thomas Paine, Ben Franklin, and all the others that are not as well know. I am grateful to the generations of soldiers that have kept us free from tyranny and harm. I'm grateful I have the choice to do things and I'm not forced to do things. I believe our country was founded by men helped by God.

Today was thoroughly enjoyable and I hope all of you had a great day. I'd also like to thank the current soldiers who worked through the holiday to keep us free.

Last Day of School

No more Teacher's dirty looks!

It's the last day of school tomorrow and boy am I excited! And I'm the TEACHER! This is my last day working in West Jordan and I'll start in Alpine in August. I have a whole month off in the summer. Unheard of in a year round school so I'm gonna put my feet up and . . . run around taking care of the kids!

I've had many great experiences so far I wish I could write about them all. But here are a few.

Mrs. Grundy and I had a blind student one year. She was so funny. She would always rub my forearm or hold my hand. Which I had to get used to because I'm not used to students being that close. One time she was getting on the bus and the principal was in talking to the driver. She bumped into the principal and said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there." Another time she brought her tandem bike to show to the kids and I ended up riding around with each child in the class which was okay except when they weren't peddling with me - the little stinkers.

One time I was talking to my husband after work on the office phone and well, we were newlyweds. So I'm talking to my sweetie poochie coo or something equally disgusting and embarrasing and another teacher runs down the hall and yelling, "Turn off the intercom!" Yep, I had declared my love thoroughout the entire school.

The thing I was most afraid of when I started teaching happened my first year and I was able to handle it. Yes, the dreaded kid throwing up in the classroom. I can't say what I'm most afraid of now, after teaching 7 years because the thing I love about teaching is that each day is an adventure no matter how much you have planned.

In a nut shell,I'm goona miss the copy room rush before and after school, the smelly and squeeky laminator, the terrific office staff, and my friends. I won't miss grades, parent teacher conferences, and the long commute. I'm looking foward to short work days, being at the same school as my kids, and meeting new friends.

I'm turning a new page in my life book and looking foward with anticipation and back with sweet memories. What I have discovered is that the heartbeat of the school is determined by the secretary. I love the secretary at the new school so bring it on!

Pictures

I just wanted to update with some photos.

Sum, Sum, Summer Time

I work every other day and every day I go in redder and redder! We just can't get enough of outside time. My kids love bikes and swimming in our dinky little pools and walks and... well, anything to do outside! They have become a lot more independent as well. Except for when the baby bull snake decided to come to our house for a little visit. They pretty much freaked out but that's okay because so did I. I had to get a neighbor to come over and take it to the field.

I've been spending alot of time with my folks lately. My dad bought my kids a fishing pole each on the Saturday before Father's Day. We bought them at Smith and Edwards on the way up to Logan. There is a kids only pond close to my brother's house and my dad, my brother, my nephew and my kids and I all went fishing. It was so cute. My dad has so much more patience with my kids than I do sometimes. It was really cute they way they tried so hard. The worms grossed them out and I can't blame them, they grossed me out too. (See snake story above!)

Anyway, my dad was really tired when we got back to Salt Lake but he took my kids out back and tied a plastic thing to their lines and taught them how to practice casting. I just wanted to hug him! It was so fun to see someone devote so much time to me children.

Daniel is really good at it. He kept getting in the trees and out at our place he can really get 'er to fly. Lillian's just sort of drops from her pole then she swings. Maybe she should fish off bridges for now!

I really don't know what I'd do if they caught anything, I only like lake fish smoked and I don't have a smoker. We'd have to eat 'em cuz they'd be really proud. Or maybe uncle Tim could teach them how to catch and release.

well, it's been a really long day. We played hard and it's back to work for me tomorrow. I feel sorry for my babysitter. I can't even keep up with my kids.

Finally Riding

Daddy finally taught Little D how to ride a bike and boy is he proud. He actually could have done it a year ago but we had bike troubles that Dad fixed. Thank goodness. The kid needed a boost and summer officially starts tomorrow for my kids.

Daydreaming

I was just reading blogs and thought - Gee, mine is kind of depressing. so I was dreaming up ways to make it better - anyway, I'm not at home right now but I'm looking at cute ideas.

One thing I have to share. Our primary is doing a scripture treasure hunt and the first clue for 1st Nephi was sacrifice. So we've been talking about what it means to sacrifice. The other day my son came running in the house with his cousin chasing him because they both wanted to same gun to play with. In the end, the fightings stopped and Danny came in the living room and told Grandma, "I let Cooper play with the gun. I sacrificed." He was so pleased with himself for remembering to sacrifice. Both kids were happy and went back outside to play. Funny how sometimes your kids just surprise you when you don't think they are listening.

I'm learning to let my kids do for themselves and solve their own problems (with guidance). My friends all say their kids are independent because they are lazy but I say it's good parenting!

Anxiety

Just so you know what I've been doing to manage my anxiety. Maybe it will help someone you know or maybe you know of something else that works.

* I've been taking Buspar, an anti-anxiety drug. It helps my anxiety but it also makes me feel tired and hungry - a great combination for gaining weight.
* Exercise. Although I keep thinking of excuses not to do this because I'm always tired.
* Taking 4 grams of Omega 3 fatty acid daily. This seemed to help within a few days.
*Reading Byron Katie's book, "Loving What is." Analyzing my anxiety ridden thoughts that I can't change and getting rid of them.
*Journal writing. Both getting out and "rid of" what is bothering me and also writing down what God has given me - discovering an attitude of gratitude.

You'd think doing all these things I would be better but EVERY time someone mentions high gas prices or rising food prices I freak out all over again.

I work at it little by little and it is getting better. Thank goodness! Anxiety is so frightening that I hate it when I get attacks. But I have to say this GOD does bless me in my trials. He has given me so much and for that I am grateful.

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all my friends and family out there.
Mostly Happy Mother's Day to my mom. She has been helping me through my post partum depression and anxiety for the past few weeks (months). She is truely amazing to be able to step in and help ease my fears and anxieties. She had post partum herself but no one was there to understand what it was. I am so grateful to her because it is so hard and I know what it is. I wish I could be one of those moms that didn't get depression but I am and I'm happy that I have help.

Thanks Mom! I love you.

Blog Help

OKay, I need some tips on how to make this more interesting. I want to add my friends blogs and I haven't figured out how to do it. Any help will be appreciated.

My husband and I are spring cleaning this weekend. We want to get the yard and house in shape. My hubby must be serious becase he even rented a small dumpster. I can't imagine filling it up but whatever will get him to help.

New Job

There wasn't much happening so I haven't been blogging but I intend to do better so keep checking. Anyway, I got a new job that I really wanted. It is in a new school district and is .71, not quite full time. It is a really good situtation for me and my family. I love teaching and I love my kids and this will allow me to be close to home and still teach. I will be teaching computers to grade K - 6. I am totally excited and have great ideas already.

So that's all that is new. Oh, yea. We are also doing a really cool treasure hunt in primary where we have to read the scriptures. I'll describe more next time - my baby is crying.

P.S. thanks for all the prayers sent my way.

My family

So this is my family. The little one is our new addition and we haven't taken family pictures with her yet.

I'm thinking Three is enough! She is a great baby but she likes to be held all day long, especially by grandma.

Just starting

Hello there! I've gotten a lot of friends that blog now and they've been pressuring me to do it too. So here I am. Hopefully I'll figure this thing out and have a lot of fun. If there are any blogging rules out there let me know what they are.